Workings of love

Today, I came across a post in social media about interpersonal relationships and I wanted to write about it to gain more understanding, since this study can potentially help individuals and couples better understand the state of their relationships and get an idea about what they can do to improve their situation.

Have you heard of Sternberg’s triangular Theory of love?

This theory was developed by Robert J. Sternberg, an American psychologist and psychometrician. He is a Professor of Human Development at Cornell University in New York, United States.

According to this theory, interpersonal relationships are made up of three components: Intimacy, or feelings of closeness and connection; passion, defined as romance and/or sexual attraction; and commitment, a dedication to maintaining the relationship.

Depending on which components are present, each relationship falls into one of eight categories:

1. Non-love = no intimacy, passion, or commitment.

2. Liking/friendship = intimacy only

3. Infatuate love = passion only

4. Empty love = commitment only

5. Romantic love = Intimacy +passion

6. Companionate love = intimacy + commitment

7. Fatuous love = Passion + commitment

8. Consummate love = intimacy + passion +commitment

Usually, passion is what initially attracts individuals together. But intimacy is what sustains the closeness in the relationship. For example, you find someone attractive at a party (passion), exchange numbers, keep in touch, and get to know one another on a mental, physical, emotional and spiritual level. (intimacy).

On the contrary, there are also close relationships where passion develops only after intimacy.

Generally, intimacy and passion in a relationship will vary from individual to individual depending on several factors such as cultural background, past experiences, personal expectations, etc. However, there will always be an interaction, in one way or another, between the two components in any close relationship.

Also, commitment interacts with both the intimacy and passion component of a loving relationship. It comes to play when all parties involved expect to be in a committed and/or exclusive relationship.

In order to determine whether a love relationship can prosper over the long term, it’s important to understand certain basic relationship principles such as communication, freedom, respect, tolerance, among others.

If for nothing else, Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love provides at least one step towards better understanding the nature of love in everyday life.

What type of love do you have in your life currently?