Self-judgement and how to tackle it

Photo: High School Musical Wiki

Self-judgement is basically thoughts a person has about themselves and the meanings attached to those thoughts.

Judgment is the process of forming an opinion, or reaching a conclusion based on the available material in your mind. It is important for people to be able to identify in themselves whatever is causing their mental health issues and illnesses, especially now that we have reached the highest rates of suicide in the history of humanity. Most human beings feel the profound fear of judgment at some point in their lives. Everyone craves for a sense of belonging and the need to be accepted by others. But this human characteristic, if not addressed wisely, could destroy us.

One of the things that stop me from achieving living my best life is self-judgment. I only recently realised that, in order to make our dreams come true, you must get out of your comfort zone and be able to be your authentic ‘you’ and get ready to embark on a roller coaster of emotions that will challenge your world. This is a process you go through in adulthood which should be taken way more seriously if you want to feel fulfilled in life and enjoy great mental, spiritual, and physical health. Otherwise it could lead you to failing in achieving your goals and dreams, accompanied by mental illnesses such as anxiety, depression, and anger.

How do you usually interpret the meaning of other people’s feedback? In a positive or negative way? Whatever your answer was, just know it is directly impacting your self-esteem.

Useful Tips to Overcome Self-judgment:

1. You need to understand your fear and where it is actually coming from. Often, our fear of judgment is originated within ourselves. Most people have made up stories in their heads, of how others perceive them. For example, we could have a fear of abandonment, and come to the automatic conclusion that everyone we get close to will leave us. And, as a result, we become afraid of commitment in a relationship and start self-sabotaging.

You need to understand that your inner critic is not always right, and it might not reflect how people actually see you. Quiet down that ‘mean’ voice in your head and stop letting it define you! It is ok to be vulnerable! That is the only way others have a chance to see you for who you truly are.

2. You must realise that it is impossible to get everyone to like or agree with you. This is the same reason why you will not resonate with every single person you meet, and that is OK!

3. Take the time to get to know what makes you, you! By having a solid understanding of who you truly are, you won’t be easily swayed by other’s perception of yourself. Set aside time to be honest with yourself, think about your strengths, and just as importantly, your weaknesses. Acknowledge the things you are good at and what you need to work on.

Once you learn to accept that no one is perfect (including you), it makes it a whole lot easier to come to terms with things that you need to improve on.

In conclusion, accept your God given flaws! In that way, the less you worry about what others think of you, the more you gain control of the way you feel about yourself, and consequently, the more energy you’ll have to focus on becoming the best version of yourself. The one that you always knew you could be!