“Bye Felipe” Says Hello

A number of weeks ago a controversial discussion regarding catcalling on American panel entertainment show Fox News made the internet rounds, in which the act was defended as “complimentary” and harmless.A follow up conversation on CNN's news program during which “bad-boy expert” Steven Santagati claimed that “if the men were hot, women would have no problem with cat calling...there's nothing a woman enjoys more than to be told how pretty she is.” appears to have had the same outraged response by women all over the world.

On the heels of this revived social referendum on attitudes towards women comes the viral instagram account @byefelipe whose contents have taken the topic to disturbing levels of reality. The account, created by Alexander Tweten from California, is a collection of screenshots sent in by women globally featuring the abusive responses of men on internet dating platforms, social media, and even phone texts, who have been ignored or rejected by women.

Begun three weeks ago in response to a friend of Alexander's posting one such interaction on her facebook page, as well as receiving one herself, it has so far gained over 200,000 instagram followers and featured in a number of online publications such as Buzzfeed.com Tweten claims that the account was created in order to “expose the problematic entitlement some men feel they need to exert over women in general”.

Although the account was originally intended specifically to allow women to connect with each other over the dangers and absurdities of online dating, it has grown in to a heated discussion between the sexes about the insidious nature of sexism and the voracity with which a seemingly harmless conversation can turn in to threats of physical abuse solely predicated upon the idea that if a woman is searching for a relationship, she is required to entertain a man's advances.

As Tweten has said in an interview with Buzzfeed.com; “Under their logic, we are supposed to entertain any man who is interested in a conversation or a date simply because we exist on a dating website. Which is ridiculous.”

The responses from men who are ignored or rejected, and featured on byefelipe, range from colourful and creative verbal abuse:

To threats of physical violence:

With a plethora of comments from both men and women on each of the submitted screenshots, the subject has become hotly contested. Hashtags such as #notallmen and #mansplaining have emerged amongst the rubble of online debate, intended to indicate that the defense produced predominantly from the male camp claiming that “not all men display this behaviour” and in one message written directly the @byefelipe account “Just chill.

It's normal for a straight male to want to have a level of contact with women, so stop making us feel guilty about it”, are unacceptable and minimise the larger issue. It is the hope of women contributing to the account that byefelipe opens up an honest public dialogue about sexism, harassment and domestic violence.

By Erin Lawson